Calora's Story

[KeshmarCurlyHair]

Steel Panty Thief
Tuesday September 18th, 4627 at 6:42 PM in Harosh
Calora Treyer's Story

There I was, getting my finely-chiseled ass handed to me by these guys from a maniacal religious cult that call themselves the 'Rune Votaries', or RVs for short...

"You freak!" said the stoner with short, silverish hair in a blue robe wearing what looked suspiciously like a diaper underneath. "Why won't you go down?!?"

I got up, looking at my butthurt opponent with my trademark smirk on; my normally gorgeous orange hair in a mess from this confrontation. "That's what yo' momma said last night!"

He clenched his fists angrily. "Why you little..."

A swift kick to my back followed, from Diaper Man's shorter, more stylish olive green-haired comrade. I flew several feet forward before skidding to a stop on my feet.

"You're interfering with matters that do not concern you!" this one whined, removing his gaudy, heavy red and yellow robe to reveal his shirtless, dark rose skin and dingy brown shorts with forearm and shin wraps.

"Talk is cheap! Like that half-assed hairdo of yours!" I quipped as the two approached me.

Suddenly, my opponents received a swift kick from behind. The two dropped to the ground like my aunt Linda's 20-pound jugs after she removes her bra. "Sweet mother of hotpants!" I exclaimed upon seeing the chick that's been prowling around the alley I've been checking out ground the RVs. She was wearing a small, yellow tank-top with a black jacket over it, with short, black spats and gray sneakers on.

I stood up as the two thugs followed suit. Before I reassumed my stance, the RVs took off with their newly blossomed vaginas, running away from the ambush.

As the orange-haired sexpot approached me, I pointed at her angrily. "You got some nerve coming over here and distracting me with those fine bags of sugar you're whippin' around!"

"What did they want from you?" she asked.

I reached in my jacket, pulling out a metallic pelvic garment. "No, it's not mine. And yes, I am planning to wash my jacket later."

She reached for the item. "They were RVs, right? This must be..."

"I take it you dropkick anyone before you know who they are?" I asked idiotically. "Why didn't ya go for me then?"

"You'd like it too much." she said, examining the steel tighty-whiteys.

"Oh yeah I would!" I said, grinning.

She sighed, looking up at me. "You were outnumbered." she said, then went back to examining.

"You want 'em? Keep 'em." I said, tossing them at her as I walked away, mumbling. "I don't care if there were seven hundred fifty-two of 'em, I still coulda kicked their asses..."

She caught them, then ran up to catch up to me. "Do you have any idea what these are?!? Where did you find them?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name..." I said as we were walking.

"Oh... Marlia Kallio." she said.

"Calora Treyer." I said, looking back at her. "I wouldn't doubt you heard of me before. I'm a pretty famous martial arti-"

"Nope." she interrupted, figuratively crushing my balls. "Now then, Calora... where'd you get this thing?"

"Call me Cal. And well... I met this girl a couple days ago." I explained as we were walking. "Strange one indeed, she wouldn't stop nagging me to make sweet whoopie to her. She fuckin' asked me seven hundred fifty-two times."

"...and?" Marlia asked.

"Well when she finally convinced me to tap that, we were about to go at it... and..."

"Yeah...?"

I pointed at the metal panties. "She was wearin' that. It was locked tight, had a time trying to get it off her."

"Thought so." Marlia said, tossing the steel thong back at me, prompting me to catch it. "She was to be a virgin sacrifice to Rune. This is what's called a 'chastity belt'. It was placed on the girl to insure that she retain her virginity until she is killed to appease Rune. But by the sound of it, they won't be coming for her any more."

I turned and backed up to face Marlia. "You mean I saved that girl from certain death?!?" I exclaimed gleefully.

"Apparently so." Marlia said.

"Haha awesome!" I smirked, throwing up my fist in victory. I then stood down as we continued walking. "Though you gotta wonder how she went to the bathroom in it..."

"I'm sure she had a way." Marlia said, then turned her head, coughing.

"So how do you know about it?" I asked, stuffing the steel panties back in my cloak.

"The RVs were after me for a time when I lived in Tophiopolis." Marlia explained. "I made my way to Harosh to lose their trail, but I found out that they actually had a larger following here."

"They still after ya then?" I asked.

"Nope. Long story short, I got them off my trail a while ago." she stated. "But ever since I came here, I had no home to stay in..."

"Well don't look at me, I don't have a job, and I'm livin' with my mom..."

"...you got room in your bed for two people?" she said, smiling evilly.

"Fine, let's go." I said. "As long as your unmentionables ain't metal."

And that's how some metal underpants got me laid.